Anger hurt. This means we do not get what we want or need. Anger gradually fights if we feel it is attacked or threatened. It may be physical, emotional or abstract, such as attacking our reputation. When we are disproportionately responsive to our present circumstances, it is because we really react to something in our past event – often from their childhood.
Close relatives have problems with anger. They have good cause and do not know how to express themselves effectively. They often relate to people who contribute less to those who promised promises and commitments, violated their limits, or disappointed or betrayed them. They may be trapped, burdened with abuse, children's responsibility, or financial trouble. Many do not see the way out, yet they love their partners or feel too guilty to leave. Further information: The mutual relationship causes anger and poisoning.
Denial, addiction, lack of borders, and interdependent symptoms of dysfunctional communication cause anger. Denialings prevent us from accepting reality and recognizing our feelings and needs. Addiction from others tries to make sure they feel better and do not initiate effective action. But when others do not do what they want, they become angry, victimized, deceived, or incapable, and we are ineffective – they are not capable of change agents. Addiction also leads to fear of confrontation. We prefer not to "rock the ship" and endanger the relationship. Because of the poor boundaries and the communication skills we do not express our needs and feelings or ineffective. Therefore, we are unable to defend ourselves or receive what we want and need. Overall, we become angry and desperate because we:
- Wait for others to make you happy and not.
- I agree with the things we do not want.
- Discover other people's expectations. or devalue our needs and so do not meet them.
- Try to control people and things over which we have no authority.
- Ask for things in a non-inconsistent, contradictory way; (1965)] Do not set limits to prevent abuses and behavior that we do not want
- To deny reality and therefore
- Trust and rely on those who are unreliable and unreliable.
- Want people to meet our needs who have proven they will not or will not.
- Despite the facts and repeated disappointments, to maintain hope and try to change others. they are still disappointed or abused.
When we can not handle anger, it can overwhelm us. Our reactions are influenced by innate temperament and early family environment. Thus different people react differently. Independent people do not know how to deal with anger. Some people who explode, criticize, blame, or hurt things, later regret it. Others stick to it and say nothing. Please either withdraw it to avoid conflicts, but remember the anger. But anger always finds its way. Close interaction can lead to a passive-aggressive effect, where anger indirectly accompanies sarcasm, nausea, irritability, silence or behavior, such as cold appearance, sinking doors, forgetting, retention, delay, and cheating. refuses our anger, we do not allow ourselves to feel or even mentally acknowledge. They may not realize that for days, weeks, years, after an event, we are angry. All these difficulties are caused by anger because of the weak role models. To learn anger is taught in childhood, but our parents have no ability to handle their feelings in maturity so they could not pass them. If one or both parents are aggressive or passive, they will be copied to one or the other parent. If we are taught not to raise our voices, they say that they are not angry or scolded because they have expressed it, we have learned to suppress it. Some fear that we will become the aggressive parent with whom we grew up. Many people think they are not Christian, beautiful or spiritual angry, and feel guilty.
The truth is that anger is a normal, healthy reaction, if our needs are not met, our borders are damaged or the trust is broken. Anger has to move. This is a powerful energy that requires expression and sometimes action to correct the error. It does not have to be loud or painful. Most close parties are afraid that their anger will hurt or even destroy someone they love. Not necessarily. Properly managed, you can improve your relationship.
Sometimes anger hurts first. Mark Twain wrote, "Anger is an acid that can cause more damage to the container in which it is stored than anything it is poured into."
Anger can contribute to disease and chronic illness. Stressed emotions absorb the body's immune and nervous systems and are able to repair and replenish itself. Stress-related symptoms include high blood pressure, heart attacks and stroke, digestive and sleep disorders, headache, muscle tension and pain, obesity, ulcers, rheumatoid arthritis, TMJ and chronic fatigue syndrome
. it turns itself against us. It is said that depression is turned into anger. For example, guilt and shame, forms of excessive self-hate that are exaggerated, lead to depression. The Expression of Anger
Managing our anger is essential to the success of work and relationships. The first step is to recognize and recognize how this is reflected in our body. Determine physical signs of anger, usually muscle tension, including grip and heat. Slow down your breath and bring it to your stomach to calm down. Take time to cool down.
Repeated emotions or emotions are signs of anger or "revoked" anger. We recognize that we are angry and accept it and give us a constructive answer. Anger may indicate deeper feelings or hidden pain, unmet needs or action. Sometimes anger is fueled by unresolved guilt.
Understanding our reaction to anger involves our beliefs and attitudes and their influence. Then we have to examine and determine our anger. If we often react too much and consider the operation of others innocent, this is a sign of tremendous self-esteem. When we raise our self-esteem and heal the inner shame, we do not respond too much, but we react in a productive and decisive way to anger. To learn the assertive skills, write the scripts and practice the role of the role.
In the heat of anger, we can ignore the contribution to the event or give an apology. Recognizing our part can help us get to know and improve relationships.
Finally, forgiveness does not mean accepting or accepting bad behavior. That means we let go of anger and anger. Praying another person can help us forgive us. Read
Working with a counselor is an effective way to learn how to deal with anger and communicate effectively.
© DarleneLancer 2017
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