We're all doing it. Whenever someone talks to us, a part of our attention will be shifted to our agenda – what could we have been thinking earlier about what we could do for us and most often how we can retreat with our cleverly retorted story with the expected story.
Human nature is to go before another speaker and get ready to respond. And no doubt this part of it is necessary to continue the dialogue. However, there is often a lack of content and meaningful meaning when we allow our minds to go too far from the moment.
I was a newly graduated college diploma at a health insurer at Kendall Square in Cambridge when my boss called me to his office. The time has come for the annual review, and I was ready to get a positive feedback on all my hard work. As Joe began to share my impressions with me, I was two feet ahead of me, preparing for a quick, intelligent return. So, when he stopped suddenly and leaned back in his chair, I raised his cleverly responsive answers. He did not speak for the next uncomfortably prolonged minute. Hmm, you're paying attention now. I was surprised what you think and asked. She stared into her eyes and said, "Sheryl, do you think you hear me when you talk?"
Quickly breathed the air from the sail and my heart sank. Hurt, defensive and confused, I could not talk. Joe explained how smart I am, but I spent too much time and did not have enough time to actually listen when he spoke. Alas! Nobody said something so stubborn and unexpected in my workplace. In the next few weeks I walked in a fog, felt unwell, betrayed and insulted, and in the following years I learned the infinite value of her question.
Vacancy is scheduled for 2008 when I took my first training. We had a number of fascinating hours as part of our program, but what made me glue like glue was called Reflective Listening. A whole class devoted to the art of listening to the other. During this 12 weeks I was immersed in being fully present in a person's unfolding history. I learned to be active students – not a person who was concerned about preparing for the return, but actively paid attention to the speaker.
Active listening is a slowly acquired set that requires years of practice and patience for the master. Focusing your attention on passive hearing instead of saying passive may be a changeover to sympathy. Active hearing involves all the senses and gives attention to the loudspeaker, eye contact, verbal, face and postural signals, mirrored body language, rhythm, breaks, and short silent periods. Here are some ideas for an active student to keep in mind:
- Neutral, non-judicial and resilient with interrupting the speaker.
- Show attention, interest, and positive reinforcement by recalling the details and asking a relevant or clarifying question.
- Reflect with repetition, paraphrase, and summation.
- Reflect the loudspeaker's sound, rhythm and language.
- Be present with a weird mind.
Your presence is difficult
If you meet face to face with a business meeting, article writing, or a friend, our attention is often easily diverted when our mind wanders. And today's fast-paced world of constant emails, texts, calls, and social media messages, staying focused can feel totally impossible.
Given the needs of our age, it is not surprising that we are not always present with people in front of us. Time and effort is needed to focus again after the interruption, and multitasking can have an adverse effect on our intellectual capacity and productivity. However, the more we practice to bring our migratory mind to the present, the better it will be to connect with others and actually listen.
To find a common place, communication sometimes deals with exchanging opposing views and opening the mind. The habit of listening to curiosity and attention improves contact and mutual understanding and provides us with valuable help to enrich the conversation and the relationship.
So, next time someone speaks, you notice it: take care of the traffic, or change it? Or left open from another person's point of view? The world around us is paying more attention to blaming the absence of our presence. But if we push the pause button in our hands and focus on the speaker's intentions and words, we can only hear that the unnoticeable problem is missing in a different way. And Joe twenty years later – thank you for the sincere moment of sincerity. Your willingness to hold back a mirror is an unexpected, lifelong gift that still illuminates my way.
Active listening is an all-in-one opportunity. Take a moment to gather and pay full attention.
Source by sbobet