Good listening skills are important for the relationship. Although most people have heard of "active listening", the definition of active listening can cause confusion among many people. Sometimes it is called "reflective silence," active listening involves making sure you hear what you said when you repeated it. Consciously listening to the other person to make sure that they hear what they say is reflected in the various terms.
Active listening is the first thing you need to learn how to change how you communicate with your spouse. Many times, the essence of communication problems is listening.
Can not communicate effectively with other significant people if you can not "hear" exactly what they are saying. No effective communication without effective listening. Without good communication skills, there is no effective problem-solving skill.
Absence of effective silence means that the sent or targeted message is not the same as the message received by the student. Although this can be done for many reasons, the simple lack of silence is a big crime.
There are many things you can do for good listening, including the assumptions that tell the student that you do not have to listen to a certain point, ignore or ignore confusing factors and try to answer. The student may assume that he knows what the other will say and so he will only be able to convince himself of his messages. At other times, the student can tune in to what the other person says while trying to accompany his objection. Both scenarios are a set in which couples look deeper and deeper and try to understand them and do not realize that no one can hear what he has actually said.
The often noteworthy attention or the difficulty of raising awareness is simply a lack of silence. Partners can not listen intentionally or deliberately. Be careful, follow these suggestions:
1. Take care of what's going on here.
2. Concentrate on what you are saying.
3. Keep silent without eye contact.
4. Do not interrupt.
5. Do not worry what you're going to say until it's over.
6. Active Listening Practice
Sensor "filters" stain information input into interaction and its surroundings. These filters consist of your own experiences, beliefs, attitudes, moods, and relationship events. Filters are uniquely theirs. The greater the impact on the events or factors that generated the filters, the durable and influential filters will be on the current connection events. Active listening helps couples to "neutralize" the effects of these filters and to detect them more accurately in the present.
By using reflective listening, you can improve your listening ability. You can start overwriting filters with this technique and look at the assumptions you've been told about what they are saying and looking for patterns. Some people have a filter of abandonment fears. Others are extremely sensitive to criticism.
The phrase "I heard you say …" is an example of an active listening technique. Other clarifying questions can be active listening. When you clear the message, you try to confirm that the sent message and received message are the same message.
Sometimes the process is still derailed when "what I've heard you said" is not what I said, and then an argument follows which one is right. Couples get out of the way by arguing about what they said or not being told first. Everyone eases the first and most important messages. It helps you not to worry about who is right and who is wrong. A good saying to remember this situation: "In fact I wanted to say …"
Reflective listening is unpleasant, unnatural, strange, rigid and simply strange. Nevertheless, there are many benefits that you should practice and learn. Some of them are the fact that most of your arguments can be eliminated if you make sure that the message you received is the sender.
The other is that by carefully clarifying the messages you can explore your own topics, color is filtered as you take over contemporary events in your life. After identifying sensitivity for certain messages and topics, the power of these filters can be neutralized. If you know that you are sensitive to leaving messages, you do not have to panic when your partner says, "I'm getting angry at this meeting, pausing and going to the store." In the past, instead of listening to this, you might have heard, "I'm angry with you and I'm leaving you." If you have identified your fear as a filter and your partner leaves you in the middle of an argument, you may feel that your partner has not told you to leave forever.
If you actually hear what's being less willing to participate in circular debates in your conversations since each volleyball of verbal attacks creates more communication
Communication practices and training that have active listening components are particularly useful
Copyright (c) 2009 Peggy L. Ferguson, Ph.D.
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