What HEAR does not always say. What we say is not always understood. No wonder people are communicating with people with misunderstandings
Often when we "hear" what others say, our own insecurity, experiences, values, etc. We're doing it. This distorts what we hear. When communicating with others, it is often unclear what we are saying. We use all kinds of routes on the subject, not exactly what we mean. (This can be done without being confronted!)
So – if someone says something that is important (to them), try to repeat what you think. It has three goals; let the other man know that you have listened to what they have said; allowing them both to know that you have the same understanding of what you have said – or if you have a misunderstanding or misinterpretation, you have the chance to correct it; helping the other person actually hear it. Words or comments are always given a different sound and have a greater impact if they are repeated (or loudly calling to you), so they can really hear the message.
Now let's take a look at the script:
I'm so faint with the arguments. There is an atmosphere – when you enter the office, you can cut a knife! I started to be afraid to work, and in the morning when I'm ready, I actually feel bad. It does not seem to affect me at all, but I do not enjoy my work any more.
So is it hard to work for her behavior and it sounds like she is meditating?
No – that's just it! I loved my job and still love the job. It's just me that I find it difficult to find. I want you to behave differently.
In this case, while 1st person said he wants to leave his job and even says that he wants to change the situation in office so that he can enjoy his work again
these two your situation will be quite different.
Sometimes conversation is something we are directly concerned, and this is even more emotional reactions
1. Person: I know I do not do a lot of help with the kids, but I work all day. It's an early breakfast, and I'm tired in the evening, and usually lie just an hour away. You forgot that although my job is not physical, it is very stressful! They usually work around the house by the end of the week, or gardening and shopping with you, and I play with the children as much as I can.
2nd Person: So I do not think my work for kids and home is as difficult as yours and I should not complain about?
first Person: No – I'm not saying this is a difficult job you do very well. What I'm trying to tell you why I feel I can not do more.
2nd Person: But do you think I'm dishonest to say you do not spend enough time with the kids?  Although clarification does not really solve the problem, it helps both sides get the same understanding of what the problem is. Everyone has the option of agreeing or modifying a compromise and thus allowing them to move towards a resolution.
The difficulty is that when we hear something negative about human nature, we make this critical. This will immediately protect us and / or begin the fight before we really know the question that is being presented to us.
When the next person shares something with you or tells you how to feel something, repeat it (words not in his words) to make sure he understands it.
Keep in mind that they sometimes misunderstood and try to explain why. For example, did you make any assumptions? Are you up to the other man's shoes and you think he feels? Do you feel defensive?
Also note that sometimes the other person does not express themselves clearly, perhaps because they do not clarify what the real question is.
Source by sbobet