Although communication is essential to establishing and maintaining good relationships, it must be said that the overwhelming majority of people are unable to handle the skills involved. No wonder you realize that this is not something we usually teach.
However, you can do a lot of things to make it easier to understand what is happening and to ensure that you are more likely to enjoy better relationships. Here are some of them:
Listen to the people – and it's really listening!
Conversation often occurs when your other person is saying something, encouraging your thoughts in your own mind. Then we begin to elaborate this idea. He tried to share it with another person – as they were silenced!
You did not listen to them at the meantime, but you're just wondering what you're going to say. So as soon as their mouths stop, they enter. You can not answer what they said because they continued in their conversation, but then how would you know about it? You did not pay attention to them – you've been listening to your own thoughts.
It is possible that you are hiding yourself for a longer period of time, and you get stuck and talked to them. How annoying is it that you can never finish a sentence or mind?
So let's look at what a common script can be:
1. person: it was such a terrible start to the day. There was a row with Bill in the morning and I went away late to take the kids to school. The traffic was difficult, so I turned my back and caught speeding. This later caused me too and paid a fine! Then I decided to go to the supermarket home, fill a basket, and when I came out, I found that I forgot my wallet. I was so embarrassed.
2nd person: Oh – I got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago. I was …
OR had a series of Jacks last night and …
OR That happened to me once …
These responses show concern or concern to another person or just an opportunity for 2 person to talk about it?
Introduces questions by asking questions. If I told you I was just interviewing, I got a new car, I had a terrible day, broke up with my partner … to me to expand, I probably reasonably feel I do not care?
Of course, it's not enough to just ask questions because that's what you know you have to do – from your real interest and the care of the people.
A better scenario can be:
1. person: as before
2. person: Oh dear, are you feeling terrible? (Pause for Answer)
OR Is the speed of speeding cause problems? (Pause for Answer)
OR were the kids okay? (Pause for Answer)
OR I'm sure people in the supermarket have understood – we did it all! (re-authentication.)
So – are you starting to see that the conversations are half-heard, half-heard, and misinterpreted? Do you see the other person feeling hurt and not listening? Was it really the end of this kind of conversation?
This practice is only to get some practice when the subject is not about something that is too important.
Next time you talk to a friend and talk about something they've done, something happened somewhere, an incident, etc.
For example: they tell you they went to the movies.
Ask yourself what the movie is about, who it was in, enjoyed the movie they showed, are often there, and so on. Ask them as part of the conversation, do not put it in the third grade and LISTEN the answers so you can ask more questions.
Perhaps it was an emotional movie – see if you can sense different feelings about your voice or the way you talk about it and about how you feel.
If you ask this process, answer them, but go back to focus on your friend.
Show that you pay attention to your head, have good eye contact, listen without listening, and ask good questions.
Listen without a verdict.
Source by sbobet