Communication Assassins in Relationships

"Communication Skills". This is the holy phrase of the improving literature. Yet every time I hear the term "I cringe" because the term is used as a wonderful cure for a problem that is really very complex. It is like applying a local ointment on a pox blister. Why is it that most people communicate well at the beginning of a relationship? Why do you mysteriously lose this ability over the years? Is it really because they lose their communication skills?

Marriage of my wife and Odyssey of Love retreat to rescue her on the cockpit sailing ship. It is understandable why we often use marine metaphors. In the case of communication problems, the idea of ​​taredo naval, also known as shipwreck. These molluscs will get into the body of a wooden boat until the hull is caught and the ship is immersed. Relationships often fail in a similar way. Hidden inhibitions can accumulate in consciousness until the person can think in a way that supports the relationship. Then the relationship becomes a numbness with a predictable role. The partners do not speak anything except their responsibility or the repentance of the other.

There are three versions of the connection ship hull. One is the fear of subordination … that we will be the less important partner and a simple footnote in our partner's life. Because this man is the fear of weakness. The second fear is approval … that, in parallel with the embarrassment, our partner is disappointed. The third fear is rejection … that we lose our sense of relationship and our important place in the eyes of our partners. These fears are most often hidden from our consciousness. We do not want to admit the truth that it is vulnerable and emotionally dependent on our partner. The truth would be our independent, strong, independent adult imagination. The complicated things are to keep us unconscious even if we deny our fear. In the near future, he will crawl and lead us from dangerous choices. As fears grow over time, we don't seem to be curious about what's going on in our partners. We are no longer looking for feelings or experiences. Our awareness of work, kids, house, etc. Problems.

Maintaining a relationship in relationships is less dependent on skills and further on what is called "emotional control". If a person has strong internal boundaries, the inhibitions do not accumulate. But internal borders are indeed a complex issue. This means that we have a strong internal interpretation framework that includes self-esteem and identity. We do not know that in a communication class. We learn to be in the school of life over time.

Source by sbobet

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